Is Your Ex Using “Amicable” as a Weapon?

Has your ex said something like, “Accept what I am offering, let’s be amicable”. These words can make you feel under pressure. It implies that of you don’t accept then you’re not being amicable. It’s important to recognise this. In a truly amicable divorce, both parties should have no issue following the process of exchanging financial disclosure and having discussions about the fair division of assets.

The Importance of Asking Questions:

Inquiring about various aspects of the divorce process, such as seeking legal advice, discussing financial matters, or requesting relevant documents like a pension statement, should not be seen as aggressive or hostile. Just like you wouldn’t accept a job without knowing the salary or details of the position, or hire a kitchen fitter without discussing every aspect and cost, you shouldn’t consent to a divorce without fully understanding the implications.

A Red Flag to Watch For:

Be aware when your ex tries to use the concept of “amicable” against you, suggesting that asking for professional assistance or crucial information, for example financial disclosure within a divorce, is somehow in opposition to being amicable. This should be recognised as a red flag.

A Suggested Response:

In response to such tactics, you can assert that an amicable divorce is one where both parties work together to achieve a fair outcome for both themselves and their family. It involves having all the necessary information to make informed decisions and actively participating in the process. It may be challenging the first time you respond like this, but persistence is key.

Using “amicable” as a weapon must be addressed and stopped in order to promote healthy and fair divorces. It is crucial to prioritise open communication and a genuine desire for a mutually agreed-upon resolution.